MY “NON-VIRAL BLOGGING” WEEK-IN-REVIEW
Monday I reviewed Neon Indian’s Psychic Chasms. The review was linked by Neon Indian’s Twitter account, but otherwise proved itself to be non-viral. People commented “seems like idk…maybe…” and “i fuckin hate tio lan.” 37 comments were garnered, ~40% from myself. On Monday I also published a non-viral account of ingesting Ambien.
Tuesday morning I continued my non-viral streak with an unseemly review of Grizzly Bear’s Veckatimest. That evening, in an almost-belligerent attempt to go viral, I published a non-viral article about considerateness on the internet. The comment “Omg Tao you are such a diva” was garnered. The comment “tao lin is the emily post of the internet” was also garnered, provoking me to search “emily post” via Google, after suppressing responding with a comment asking who Emily Post is, due in part to pressure from my own article, which had said that it was inconsiderate to not “find information yourself.” Seems like Emily Post was alive in the 1800s or 1900s and wrote things about etiquette.
Wednesday I published a non-viral, 4-page “piece” that utilized Google Translate, garnering a positive email from my mother and a brief, tonally confusing, maybe still-unresolved Gmail chat asking if I had a new prose style.
Thursday I published an unseemly, non-viral “piece” about having sex with Megan Boyle. An attempt to mollify the unseemliness of the “piece” can be seen in the choice of refraining from a close-up photo of Megan Boyle, opting instead for a slightly blurry and distanced photograph of her left profile. 100 comments were garnered, ~40% from myself, ~5% from Megan Boyle.
Friday saw the non-viral publication of a “piece” centered around Jesse Eisenberg. No one thought this “piece” would go viral, and it didn’t. A rare, 5-word comment from Brandon Scott Gorrell was garnered, however: “this is sweet, laughed often,” to which I responded “sweet…bsg.”
