Gollum staring at his “stash,” which he has built up from nothing by working minimum wage for 18 months at Taco Bell while spending 65% of his income on skin care products that his co-workers and managers have mandated he apply twice daily (Gollum isn’t bitter about this, he actually agrees; as an undocumented immigrant he also has no choice, he knows, but to agree), a few minutes before ingesting all of it in an earnest effort to kill himself. Fortunately (for his co-workers, who depend on him to accomplish 95% of manual labor at Taco Bell) he will panic and call 911 and live, waking in a hospital 3.5 hours later (2.5 hours after his 911 call is posted on Gawker) with $53,208.79 in medical bills.
heheheheheheheeheheheehehe.com
Previously – Largest Xanax
